Samuele Grandi

Una mezcla chocante de rigurosamente científico y espontaneidad incontrolada, fusionando mi vida como investigador de física y como soñador desesperado.

Empecé a escribir en italiano, pero cambié al inglés después de vivir en Londres durante 5 años. Me fascinan los idiomas y la forma en que cada uno se adhiere a tu vida y transmite ciertos mensajes con mayor facilidad. Últimamente sobre todo poesía, ocasionalmente cuentos cortos y recientemente fotos y videos.

Manifesto of a burnout

[lighter]

It is the mind that controls everything, I solidly believe this.

Dominates everything.

Dominates the body.

Dominates time.

And most certainly it can bend a life. You are able to forge a life.

Want it, Want it badly. Make it your priority.

What else would you be doing with your life other than direct it towards the brightest, fastest most precious and most spectacular way possible for it? Shouldn’t this be the one true goal of life: fulfil it’s potential? And any life has no equal, as each life is unique, has a proprietary hue. No one sees your colours, give the same tastes to your feelings.

[kaleidoscope]

Obviously then goals are the metre.

You need solid goals. Golden goals. Astounding goals. Frightening goals. Goals that are worth having just so that you can aim at them. Objectives that are elevating ourselves only because we are striving towards them.

And don’t lose any moment.

Don’t let them go, snatch at any one coming your way.

Like blowing on hot ambers, inflame every moment. Find all the possible dimensions of a moment, and develop each one. They will multiply and expand, until each one is so dense with meaning and beauty that it will condense. A crystalline form of life.

[catching water]

And nothing can be left to chance, nothing.

Don’t leave anything to chance, ever.

Every single grain of time, every speckle of hour, every dimension of now has to be engineered, elevated, engraved and refined.

And of course: dream.

Dream big, dream fast, dream with no restraint.

But most of all, you should bore your dreams with your life.

Fucking grab your life, stick it in the furnace and beat the shit out of it, until it's so blazing you can't even look at it.

[burning origami flower]

Look at it! You see it? You can't see it, you cannot even look at it.

Bright isn't it? Well of course, not yet, but soon. It’s fine to take a rest now.

Soon it will be, right? I can't have to wait much longer.

Oh, you don't like this? Fine, sorry, Iet me work on it a little more. Just a little more…I can try some new things.

How about that? No, it was not the right time for it.

No worries: I - I can change the plan. Plan was not defined anyway. No worries, I can change it.

Still not liking it? I think I do! Come on, I’m doing my best here!

Am I though? Maybe. Maybe I could always do more, I am just being lazy…a lazy bastard, could could have worked so much more.

[inversion point]

I need to control this life, can’t let it slip through my hands.

What? Sorry I didn’t hear you, what are you saying? Do I like it? Oh, if I like it? I don’t know what you mean man, what is that supposed to mean? You don’t like it?

“Does it matter”? Well why of course! And of course I have been doing this for myself, who do you think I’ve been doing this for? Me, for fucks sake! All for me! Am I happy? I…I don’t…I think so, that’s the most logical way of looking at it…that is what I want, most definitely what I want…I think…

I don’t know

I said I don’t know [angry]! I don’t know…uh I wish I knew!! [a little laugh]

“What makes me happy?” uh…what makes me happy…well, it’s a process, right? What do you think will make me happy? Tell me…tell me…come on, just your opinion.

Tell me please!! TELL ME [screaming, the thing burns at accelerated speed]

[drips of ink on a page]

Maybe I got a little carried away. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that. Maybe…I haven’t been listening. What should I do? If up is not the right way, then what is?

You are still here? Don’t know what to tell you actually.

I have no words for you, I have burnt them all for me.

I have used them all to contain my life, to direct it in another place, one that I thought would be better. If you have any startling, luminous revelation please share it with me.

Seems like everything I have to say is a useless mush of trite advice, a salad of trivialities, a kaleidoscope of cheap certainties.

Perhaps, perhaps I should just stop trying to fight lightning strikes. You can only run and pray for your life, or stay and look it.

And I can’t deny it’s beautiful.

[A match burning backwards and forwards]

Ok sorry, time to go.

Of course, I will still aim high. As high as I can.

Thing is, you are looking at the stars while you aim at them, and it’s a pretty sight I must admit…